


Open Vein

by Ro_Nordmann



Series: JB Tumblr Angst Prompts [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst prompts: #17 Why can’t you forgive me? / #23 I never want to see you again, F/M, Heavy Angst, Not A Fix-It, Not-a-happily-ever-after, PART 2: tumblr prompt exes meet after years apart au, Past Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Tumblr Prompt, may be a happily-afer all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21609166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ro_Nordmann/pseuds/Ro_Nordmann
Summary: jailynnW's {better summary}Some cuts are too deep to heal. Some cuts need time and air to breathe. Two souls shattered because of mistakes Jaime thought would never come to light. Unfortunately for him, Brienne found them...(part 1 broke me, part 2 gave me hope)PART I: The mascara hadn’t smeared. Thank the gods for waterproof makeup. Once more, Brienne faced her visage, distorted by her sudden, blurred vision. She rubbed her eyes and still no smudges, her face impeccably adorned. A farce, like everything in her life.PART II: Ten years after their divorce, Brienne and Jaime reunite by chance (or is it?) and find themselves confronting their ghosts.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister & Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: JB Tumblr Angst Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557418
Comments: 29
Kudos: 75





	1. open vein

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JailynnW](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JailynnW/gifts).



>   
> ____________________________________
> 
> @jailynn24 said:
> 
> Okay angst prompt: #17 Why can’t you forgive me? / #23 I never want to see you again.
> 
> ____________________________________  
> 

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

— **Sigmund Freud**

* * *

Brienne brushed her shoulder-length tresses. Her hand shook, but she kept brushing while the tears slipped and dripped down her cheeks. Her blue eyes stared at the mirror. Yes, she was still ugly. Growing her hair longer didn’t improve her looks, make more feminine, more attractive for her very handsome husband.

It was plain to see why he had chosen her, now. Why he had swept her off her feet and lavished her with kisses and showed her how to be a woman in bed. It was an illusion. A mirage. To hide behind the beastly woman whom he’d call wife in front of the world, while behind closed doors he savored another…his soulmate, his one true love. 

The brush snagged on an unsuspecting knot and Brienne pulled with such strength that it broke the bristles and a clump fell on the tiles of the bathroom floor. It hurt, but no more than her broken heart, nor the tears than would not stop.

Her Jaime had consoled her when the doctor had said the IVF had not been successful. He’d been the doting husband, as she cried unconsolable at her failure…another one at being a rightful woman. Jaime’s green eyes shone with unshed tears, while saying they were enough, that their love would soothe their wounds. Only time and rest would tell if they were meant for more, but their love would be a testament of their commitment and devotion.

Empty like her womb, those words turned out to be.

Bloodshot eyes glared at her, accusing her of being naive and stupid. Stupid, ugly sow that you are! How can a Lion of Casterly Rock ever fall for you? These had been words sneered at her…but how real they had turned out to be, for Brienne Tarth was never meant to step, much less claim to become one of the Lannisters, if only in name.

The gods hadn’t spared her, never given her a respite. She’d been a foolish child to have ever sought out more than she was deemed appropriate.

She tore her turquoise dress off, breaking the straps in the process. The jewelry was next, dropped carelessly on the floor. The silver three-inch heels thrown in the corner, clanking on the wooden floor of the walk-in closet. Her gaze inspected her possessions, none hers, all theirs, a symbol of status and wealth. That’s all it amounted to, appearances and veneer of beauty and grace.

Brienne Lannister was neither; beautiful or graceful.

Tyrion, her husband’s brother had seen—only he had been too late to stop it from the truth to be revealed. He _knew_. It shouldn’t have been a shock that his loyalties would lie with his family, with his brother. 

Only an opportune moment left alone, separate from her shield, the one meant to love and protect, was enough. 

An auspicious meeting of two women, one a slithering snake ready to strike and the other a bumbling unknowing jester of the court, served as the lamb at the stake for the latest sacrifice.

Mismatched eyes watched as his dear cousin Cersei strode with purpose after being abroad for years, came to introduce herself to Brienne.

“You must be Jaime’s Brienne? Yes? I’m Cersei Lannister. It is so nice to finally meet face to face…You do have astonishing eyes—too bad they can’t be plucked and set as earrings. They’d be worth millions of dragons, probably more than the gold left under the mines at the Rock.”

It was the first threat. Subtle but easily discerned, even to Brienne who wasn’t equipped to verbally battle in the intrigue that categorized the Lannisters’ social gatherings. The Lannister patriarch had kissed her cheek and asked her about her health, only wanting to know if the heir he most coveted after was finally underway. She had seen his disappointment over and over again and how his eyes looked right through her, staining her with shame at her continued shortcomings.

The second had been a fatal blow. It still bled profusely, the wound open and exposed for all to see, stare and gawk at.

It came wrapped in perfection, two children with green eyes and golden hair identical to her Jaime’s. 

“I want you to meet my children… This is Myrcella and Tommen Targaryen. I’ve recently lost my husband—Rhaegar, to a skiing accident in the Alps. His dear friend Robert Baratheon has been a godsend, really. I wouldn’t know how to go on…I must for my twins, you see—well, maybe someday the gods will grace you with children of your own, Brienne.”

No one had to tell her. These gorgeous children were her husband’s. Her hand started to tremble and the champagne flute crashed causing her to hear nothing. Her eyes stayed open, but she remembered the bloodstained sheets and the pain, like a knife striking her insides. So empty. 

Tyrion came to diffuse the scene, but the barb had hit the target. With watery smile, Brienne nodded and walked away, already dying and accepting her fate. Jaime was none the wiser, always the charming host, the perfect golden son.

The mascara hadn’t smeared. Thank the gods for waterproof makeup. Once more, Brienne faced her visage, distorted by her sudden, blurred vision. She rubbed her eyes and still no smudges, her face impeccably adorned. A farce, like everything in her life.

“Brienne?”

Her blood turned to ice at her name coming from his lips. Her lids closed and opened, green meeting blue. Jaime stared at the scene, the dress, the jewelry, the heels and his wife’s disheveled state.

“They are truly Lannisters…golden and beautiful. Like their father. No wonder you don’t care if I ever bear even one. They are perfect replicas of you…and her. My only wish is for the Mother to spare them what lies within, the rot, the filth that burbles under the skin. _I never want to see you again_. It is enough that I’ve lied to myself for years, made myself believe your lies. But look at me. This is all there ever was and will be. I want you to give me my freedom back.”

Silence met their stares. His hands made to touch her, but at her recoil he took a step back. No denial had been uttered from his lips, those lips that had kissed her neck this morning. The very same that had whispered their wedding vows and sworn him to her. _May it bleed from this day forth every time a lie is spoken_. 

“It was a long time ago…father didn’t approve. Uncle Kevan frowned upon it and believed it would be a passing infatuation. He was right. Aunt Genna warned me there would be a day I would regret my illicit affair with Cersei and her cunt. But you have to believe that— I love you— that I want to be with you always, that it’s in the past and she has moved on to the next buffoon that believes her simpering guile. It was a mistake—”

Brienne smashed the mirror with her fist. With the blood dripping from the cuts in her hand, she turned and faced the only man she trusted in her life, apart from her late father.

“A mistake? Children are not a mistake. They are _yours_ . I will never know what it means to have a piece of you grown within me. She _knows_ that and she gloats in it. She won long ago. Even if your father didn't approve, he’ll rejoice knowing his legacy is secure. That all that matters to him. He’ll be free to tolerate the defective, lumbering blunder of a wife his son chose. Let’s not pretend anymore. I am the mistake and I am done with this mummer’s play. Give me my life back, Jaime. Or do you expect to keep me here as I bleed for you?”

The tears had dried up, a simple crust of salt on her cheeks. She brushed her unharmed hand on her face, while her other hand throbbed from the ache. It reminded her she was still alive, heart beating within her chest and the ice melting off her skin.

“I admit it took me time to lift the veil of control over me. To see who she really is inside, all ambition and greed. When I married you, my vows felt hollow. I betrayed them, I failed you…Brienne, I love only you and those children aren’t mine. Rhaegar was their father. I won’t ever claim them, not even if we can’t ever have one of our own. I will never do that to you—”

Brienne chortled in derision at his words. 

“You already claimed them, with your cock between her legs. You spent your seed and it was fruitful in her cunt. How old are they, Jaime? You expect me to forgive and forget? Errors of the young? Fuck you, Lannisters! Fuck your golden tongue that lies without regret! Fuck your superiority and deceit! How gold makes you pay for every single slight and walk with head held high! I won’t be bought! I’m no longer for sale! I won’t blind myself to please you any longer! GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK!”

His face reddened in anger and he screamed back, “Why can’t you forgive me?” 

Always the lion, never meek or apologetic, the sheep had to submit. Brienne was no sheep.

“Ask the gods for forgiveness, if you can knee to anyone in your life. Do not ask anything of me, you can’t do yourself. I’m not your mirror. The facade is torn and I can see clearly now. You’re no longer the handsomest of men in my eyes, Jaime. You’re uglier than I am, on the inside and I refuse to be your refuge. No more consolation prize.”

Brienne brushed past him, got dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt with her favorite converses. A tote filled up with her toiletries served as her luggage. She pictured herself arriving in Tarth, breathing the salt in the air and giving her a second wind. 

Another crash, this time it was Jaime punishing the mirror with his bare fists, unable to stop staring at his distorted face. _Words are wind_ , her father had said. Only actions spoke the truth about a man’s character. 

She walked in and gazed at her husband one last time.

“Goodbye, Jaime. Don’t come after me. Just sign the papers.”

Jaime’s face was wet with tears, hands bloodied from the hits and the white dress shirt torn from his chest. His eyes met hers one last time, and the only response she got was a nod. And that was the last time, Brienne was a Lannister.

* * *


	2. non sequitur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the request of my dear friend - I decided to add a PART 2 to my angst-iest fic.  
>  **Tumblr prompt: #40- exes meeting again after not speaking for years au**
> 
> * * *
> 
> Ten years after their divorce, Brienne and Jaime reunite by chance (or is it?) and find themselves confronting their ghosts.

* * *

[ **jailynn24** ](http://jailynn24.tumblr.com/) **said:**

  1. exes meeting again after not speaking for years au Un-break my heart from that angst fic you wrote me.



* * *

**non sequitur**

* * *

A whole decade.

And there he was, the husband Brienne Tarth rejected, left behind, and discarded like bad take-out. Mr. Jaime Lannister, the arrogant, self-centered, conceited asshole that thought it was right to father children with his first cousin and keep her as his trophy wife for the rest of the world. She had to admit that he still was handsome, even with the silver encroaching on his golden tresses styled to perfection, as his green eyes focused on her every move. It felt like laser beams, burning into her soul, reading her every breath and most assuredly believing he affected her as always.

_ Fuck you, Mr. Lannister _ .

His brother, kept looking around until he found her and fucking gasped making everyone take notice. Her hands gripped the napkin, almost tearing it apart, as her cheeks pinked in embarrassment. 

It was supposed to be a fundraising meeting. Brienne should’ve known that Margaery Tyrell as her agent would pull something like this. Her right hand found her cellphone and rapidly texted Sansa an  _ S.O.S _ .

“Ms. Tarth? Would you like to include in this introductory meeting how your company will contribute to the Gala? I believe you have a very personal connection with this cause?”

At the mention of her name, she dropped her phone to the floor, clattering and left forgotten as it kept vibrating with answering texts. She cleared her throat and sat straight looking around the room with feign confidence.

“I was fortunately to become involved with the children’s orphanage,  _ Our Mother’s Summer Hall _ . I-I always wanted to be a mother...it wasn’t meant to be from my womb. The gods, old and new, found a way to give me a son. I started volunteering as a reader in the afternoons. When I met a young boy, eight summers old, skittish like a kitten, but with the most amazing brown eyes that I fell in love with right away. The Mother blessed me, for he found me interesting, and our friendship slowly bloomed. After learning about his past from the sisters, I knew that Podrick was meant to come home with me, to Evenfall Hall. So, I find myself a mother of a teenager who adores jumping off cliffs into the sea, and hiking all over Tarth. Finding Pod gave my life meaning like never before...I believe in this place and how much it means to the forgotten, neglected children of our country. Not every parent can take care of their child, but if we fund these havens we can foster a better future for their lives. ”

There was clapping in the background, a pair of hands, those hands that had learned to touch her in places she’d never known would elicit such pleasure. Her eyes met his, his face open and elated, as if he’d missed her and having this moment was absolution.

Brienne shook her head once and turned towards the host, Ms. Stokeworth, “Pod visits the sisters from time to time, missing some of his brothers and sisters. I admit that sometimes I wish I could take them all...But, Pod is my boy and knows this in my heart. If only other privileged families in our country would see what these children have endured, I believe they would help out financially and keep these institutions operational and even foster a child with the potential to adopt. Volunteering with Sister Alyenna saved me, as finding my son in the most inconspicuous place.”

Tyrion applauded this time and stood from his seat, while his mismatched eyes searched for a decanter to refresh his empty tumbler.  _ Nothing really changes with the Lannisters.  _ His brother kept insisting to gain her attention, as she shook hands with other members of the Board of Trustees, and got a hug from Olenna Tyrell, Margaery’s grandmother and her personal friend.

Her lips touched her cheek, as she whispered, “The Lion can’t keep his eyes off you, Sunstar. Let him simmer in his own regrets. He can’t touch you anymore, not if you don’t want it. It’s been years in the making and you are not dependent on him and his family name. You’re Brienne Tarth, a successful entrepreneur and mother of a young, gifted teenager that will make you proud. So, you see everything you are and all you possess has nothing to do with Lannisters and their debts. Strut your stuff, baby girl! At this point, I think you may ask both brothers to service you and they would beg for it.  _ Own _ it.  _ Savor _ it. And then, let it go.”

* * *

“Brienne?”

She took one breath, then another, letting it fill her lungs and exhale as slowly as she could, feeling calm before the storm. Tyrion touched her hand, not caring that they had not spoken in ten years. It hurt to see his face, remembering how close they used to be. 

“Sister of mine, it must be said that you look stunning. Like the sun and the moon have taken over you, as bright and magnificent as ever. The years have been good to you...not so much with me. As you can see, I’ve only grown more monstrous and less tolerable. Just ask Jaime—”

The man grabbed his brother’s shoulder hard, “Tyrion! Please...stop. Grant me a few minutes with my  _ wife _ . Please…”

_ Wife _ .

How dare he call her that after— _ everything _ .

Tyrion grimaced, whether it was physical pain from the grip, or the word  _ wife _ expelled from his brother’s lips as if it was a matter of life or death. He searched for her compliance, and Brienne nodded with a lift of her eyebrows as her answer.

Jaime moved into her personal space, with the intention of holding her hands, craving that personal connection, a heat that used to be her lifeline. 

_ No more.  _

_ No again. _

_ Stay back. _

“Brienne—”

“No, Mr. Lannister. Please, respect my space. I will listen to whatever must be said and we can go our separate ways. I remind you, I don’t have to listen to one word, but I will grant you this moment and not more.”

He growled, as his hand found her wrist swiftly, catching her unawares, her heart jumping at the searing touch. His pupils were blown, as his face was right there, eyes locked, no escape.

“Do you forget that I know you? That I own your pleasure—that I loved your skin, that one look from your blue eyes was enough to ignite our passions? Where is my wife? The one I claimed and made mine, the lioness who conquered my father and made my brother laugh… I miss you, Brienne. It’s been long enough.”

She had stopped breathing and felt the pain in her chest, forcing her to gasp for air, disoriented and giving Jaime the upper hand momentarily. He pushed her into another room, finding the privacy required for his obsequious request. Once the door was slammed behind him, he dropped to his knees and his lips kissed her knuckles.

“I don’t deserve you. I won’t pretend to—but Brienne I don’t exist without you. It is pointless to keep going if I don’t confess the multitude of sins in my wretched life at your feet.  _ She _ isn’t part of my life, neither are  _ her _ children. Father gave his ultimatum and his word his law in our family. He needs to see you, before the Stranger takes him. You’re the only person living that he loves...not any of his children found a place of his true esteem, Bri. If not for me, then I implore you to come home—to Casterly Rock—and make Father the happiest old man in Westeros for an afternoon. Bring your son if you must, I’m sure he’ll love to jump off the Rock’s cliffs into the Sunset Sea…” 

His gaze dropped and lingered on the empty finger, the ring was missing, his ring. His index finger touched the empty space. Brienne shivered and shook her head, then sighed in exasperation. She was sure that Tyrion had taken notice of their disappearance and was probably calling the Lannister patriarch with the fake news. 

“I-I need to leave, Mr. Lannister. We don’t have anything further to discuss...ten years worth of silence is sufficient for your family to comprehend that I’m done. I regret that Mr. Lannister Sr. is doing poorly. Please, send him my regards. Have a good afternoon.” 

She tried to move, but he pushed forward his one-mindedness still on his knees, Jaime opened his eyes letting the pain in his soul show completely. She felt the knife pricks in her heart, seeing it in the green pools, knowing it was genuine. 

_ Why wasn’t I enough, Jaime? _

Her hands no longer found themselves wrapped around her middle. At least, he respected her space and didn’t try to console her. Locking his eyes on hers, Jaime found the courage to go on.

“Do you remember the day I waited for you? Hours had gone by and you hadn’t shown up. I was drenched by the time you appeared. It was meant as a gesture of my devotion to you...it was the day you said  _ yes _ . You’ve been my wife since that day, Brienne. I miss waking up next to you. Not a day goes by that I don’t imagine you right beside me, on our bed. I even speak to you, as if you’re listening. The specter of you has listened to this...my disclosure and I need to atone, Brienne. Please, grant me mercy. You simply left me. I have failed you. But we owe each other this reparation. Don’t let your heart turn to stone, not for my hubris to think I could keep this from you. For lack of a better explanation,  _ they _ were never mine. Cersei… She made sure that her children were her late husband’s and she’s got a suitable replacement in Bob. I don’t fit in her vision. I was a pawn in her games and I let it happen. First love, misguided lust and complete Lannister stupidity have cost me the most important person in my life.  _ You _ .”

Brienne felt the tremors on her extremities, as the pounding of her heart left her breathless. She was about to pass out in the presence of the man that had broken sacred vows, but most importantly Jaime Lannister had destroyed any illusions of everlasting love in her life. Deception and lies,that’s what her marriage had amounted to in one afternoon. 

She moved back, her hands rubbing against her suit, eyes looking for an escape. She didn’t need him. She’d been free of him for more than a decade. She was no longer Brienne Lannister and this pathetic man kneeling at her feet was not the man she once loved...this wasn’t her Jaime.

“I need to go—Pod is waiting for me. Even if this wasn’t the way I wanted...It was good seeing you, Mr. Lannister—”

Jaime was beyond frustrated with her detachment and propriety. He wanted her to react, to rage and scream at him. It would mean there was still hope for him, embers of their passion living in his wife. 

“JAIME! Not, Mr. Lannister. I’m not my father. My name is Jaime. You have screamed it enough or have you forgotten? Do I have to remind you of what I can do to you? Fuck, Brienne—let me burn you. You’re not this ice queen that reminds me so much Trout matriarch when she lost her husband and her eldest son. I still breathe and still ache for you. What do you want me to do? Beg? I’ll fucking beg to be at your side once more. Do you want me to love your son? I’ll fucking love him, because you love him. I adopt him and make him my legitimate heir. But don’t kill me with your mild derision.”

Brienne scoffed, “You didn’t mind much when I left you that afternoon. Scarcely anything words came out of your lips. You didn’t stop me. You only expected that my love and devotion for you would be enough to assuage your betrayal. I saw them,  _ Jaime _ . Your children. You expect me to forget...the visual confirmation of how inadequate I was as your wife. I wasn’t able—this body is wrong, defective.  _ Meeting _ them, it hurt me and confirmed what I already knew. You found me lacking like Ron, like Hyle... and it didn’t matter that you had married me. We were together when they were conceived—while I lost  _ our _ babies, you had  _ them _ .” 

She gasped trying to hold back the sobs building in her throat. The wound was wide open, gushing and alive.  **_See it_ ** _ , Jaime. This is what you left of me, Brienne Tarth, formerly Lannister, a resentful ex-wife with buried trauma and endless grief.  _ She gripped her hair harshly, hating how vulnerable she felt, allowing him this dominance over her as if time had stalled.

“No, Bri. Please, stop. I don’t want to hurt you...Hurt me! Hit me! I deserve it all! Take it out on me! I'm unworthy, not you. Let me worship you, my wife. I need to smell and taste you. Let me have you, now. I will submit to your whim and pleasure you, Brienne. Grant me this...and if you want to renounce me again—do so and I will accept it.”

Disarmed physically and emotionally, Brienne wasn’t able to dissuade him convincingly. His forehead rested against hers, as he stood with his arms around her. 

_ How did this happen? Why are you doing this to me?  _

_ Please... Jaime. No! I can’t want this—You. _

_ Fuck, I miss you. _

Her lips brushed his shyly, afraid of what it would mean for them. Jaime smiled at the hesitant gesture from the woman who had grown so much and apart from him. 

“I’m proud of you, Bri. Even if it has killed me, us. You have blossomed and made a life of your own. Nothing dependent on my family’s influence and capital, this is all you. But most of all, you’re a mother of that young man. You don’t owe that to anyone, no man. It’s all you and that giving heart. Fuck, I missed staring at your blue eyes, even if this may be the last time...I can die happily tomorrow—”

Her finger stopped his nonsensical ramblings, “You don’t have to die for me, Mr— _ Jaime _ . I’m not that bloodthirsty. And you’re right, I’m a mother and he’s mine. For him, I do anything. I don’t owe you anything, Jaime. As for this amends of sorts...I-I have a confession to make. I  _ miss _ you, too. But don’t make me—don’t push for more. I-I won’t give myself up for you and that’s what you Lannisters demand. I’m not Brienne Lannister.”

Her words were each and every syllable stabs, leaving weeping wounds with no attainable cure if Brienne didn’t relent. Jaime nuzzled his nose, as his lips whispered close to her ear, “You will always be Brienne Lannister.  _ Mine _ . And I’ll  _ prove _ it to you.” 

He took control of her whole body, as his lips crashed and demanded more. His tongue invaded her mouth and she could taste the wine and something tart. He always liked little treats making her envy how his physique never suffered by his sweet tooth. Hers must be bitter in comparison, as she had an espresso and nothing else. Her hands teased his nape, holding him in place.

“You’re still my Brienne. And I’m your Jaime. My sins nor ten years apart can’t change that.”

He kissed her once more on the lips, softly. His green eyes peered into her face searching for her compliance, as he dropped to his knees and proceeded to knead her hips.

“I need to taste  _ you _ afresh. Soak myself in your essence. Give me this, baby. I want it, so badly.”

Brienne let herself feel, her body reminiscing, recognizing  _ who _ was igniting her senses. The emptiness harrowing within her had been her constant mate. And with just a graze from his lips, it ached with uncontrollable hunger. Her fingers crawled down her thighs lifting the skirt, as his nails dug into her flesh. Assisting her, he gripped the lace covering her skin and tore it off. It slinked, falling on the marble floor. 

Without losing eye contact, Jaime slid to her left ankle and bit it lightly. He paid attention to her five inch spike heels, which made her even taller than she already was. He moaned and growled against her skin.

“I’ve fucked my hand just thinking of your long legs. How they can strangle me if you want to...take me in and not let me go. Will you let me fuck you with my mouth?”

Brienne answered with a single nod and then moaned loudly, as he found her wet and ready. Jaime didn’t wait for her to change her mind. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t as young and his joints were protesting his squat.

“Mmm... _ yes _ . It's the same and more delicious than I remembered.”

Digging into her ass, he pushed into her pussy with relish, as the tip of his tongue skimmed her clit. She made her spasm, as her fingers gripped his hair, yanking him closer, demanding satisfaction as her other hand helped hide whimpers falling out of her mouth. Once his fingers joined and fucked her, she started keen in ecstasy as the waves of bliss began crest.

“Oh gods…  _ Jaime! _ ”

The wall and his grasp on her kept her upright, but she felt like jello. The only sound in the room was their mutual hard breathing, and the smell of sex, hers, permeating all around them. With her eyes closed, she tried to control the trembling, calming her pounding heart and talking herself out of saying one word… 

_ Shit! Did this really happen? _

The scrap of lace was evidence of her recklessness. She had let her ex-husband perform oral sex in a random office, after years of no contact. She hit the back of her head against the wall in admonishment.  _ This was a mistake. It meant nothing. Just a bit of closure. That’s what you’ve given him.  _

The sting of his teeth on the inside of her thigh made her groan and yank his head back. This gave her the advantage of her stature to see the outline of his erect cock trapped within the confines of his pant leg. It was utterly satisfying.

“You’re a goddess. My wife. Fuck—Brienne, don’t leave me. I beg you to think of  _ us _ . Gods, I love you.”

A rapid knocking saved her from answering Jaime, “Ms. Tarth? Mr. Lannister? Are you in there?”

_ Oh, fuck...Is the door locked? Did they hear them? _

She could die, as the flush turned to dismay. Without looking at him prostrate on the floor, Brienne moved confidently towards the door. Before opening it, she halted— _ this is what must be done _ .

“I will speak with your father. I won’t promise that I will physically visit Casterly Rock...  _ Goodbye _ , Mr. Lannister."

* * *

The crash of the waves and the salt in the air felt familiar and not unlike her home in Tarth. Living in the Rock hadn’t been a hardship. Truly, Brienne had been happy here, for many years...until the veil of deceit fell and it all shattered.

Pod had accepted coming with her to the trip without much complaint wanting to see the famous cliffs of Lannisport. He was sporting his board shorts and a tank ready to hit the waves.

“Don’t forget the sunscreen! And, please don’t lose that pair of eyeglasses!”

“Yes! Mom, stop worrying! Bronn is an expert and he’ll be with me. He’s friends with the Lannisters. Uncle Tyrion said he’ll come and watch me dive later! Bye! Love ya!”

She watched me run off, as she stood in one of the many balconies of the Lannister property. Her sunglasses helped her protect her sensitive eyes against the glare, but it also felt like a mask that hid her from  _ them _ .

“If my old, useless eyes don’t betray me…  _ Brienne _ ?”

An ailing Tywin Lannister with a cane, limped in her direction. His less vibrant green eyes glinted with joy, “My favorite daughter is home at last! I should’ve thrown that good-for-nothing son of mine, down the mineshaft and forgotten all about him… Darling, it’s good to see you.”

In his enthusiasm, he dropped the walking stick and opened his arms expecting her to hug him. Brienne felt like a younger version of herself, as she used to treasure the attention the Lannister patriarch bestowed upon her. She held him tenderly, taking into account his deteriorating state, feeling the poking bones through his speckled flesh, full of liver spots and wrinkles. 

Tywin’s face turned and his lips pecked her cheek, but he didn’t stop with that gesture. He whispered into her ear, “He  _ nothing _ without you. I don’t know how many times I’ve wondered if today is the day I’m waking to the news that my son jumped to his death… I know that it was your decision and I stand by it, but Darling you have to reclaim your place before I die and rule in my stead. My sons, the lot of them are useless, only finding ways to spend my fortune. I need that steady head on your shoulders. Your father must have left this world with a smile on his face, knowing you are more than capable of being the head of your family. Now, enough about my grievances. Tell all about that son of yours, the young Podrick Tarth.”

They spent the early morning and early brunch, drinking mimosas and sharing chocolate covered strawberries, Tywin’s favorite dessert. It explained Jaime’s secret indulgences with sweets. She spoke about the orphanage and how she met Pod and how he found a place in her heart, giving her the best gift—motherhood.

“Does this mean you’ve given up having one of your own?”

Brienne flinched and evaded his gaze, her mind replaying the painful memories of trying for  _ their _ child and failing in the simple task of womanhood. She pinched her wrist, castigating herself in an attempt to keep the heartache from overwhelming her. It was the main reason why she had to leave the Lannister, knowing her unworthiness and an incompetence at securing the Lannister legacy. But most of all, she’d wanted to hold her baby in her arms, seeing a bit of their love reflected back. 

Meeting the Targaryen twins all those years ago, perfect replicas of Jaime cemented Brienne’s rationale. She wasn’t good enough, never had been. Lost in her thoughts, she was caught unaware of newcomers. 

Tyrion had finished the last of the mimosas and requested red wine and a sampler of cheeses. He had bags under his eyes and a pouch, looking much older in years, as his hand never left his cell phone answering call after call. He tried to join the conversation, but something important must have happened causing him to strut in a huff away from the table.

“He’s in charge of the Lannisters' affairs. It’s fitting, as he was always the cleverest of the two of us. I’m just the face of the company, while he stands on his chair and charms the ladies out of their underwear and swindles the men into signing with us. Tyrion is a whiz in finances and politics. Both subjects bore me to the seven hells, that I keep telling father not to worry much his empire is in the best hands.”

Jaime sat by himself on a lounge, keeping distance from Brienne, but allowing him to look at her all he wanted. He had a bowl on his lap full of sliced kiwi, pineapples and strawberries.  _ Tart _ . She caught herself staring at his lips and remembering their last kiss and the zest lingering in her tongue. He caught her eye, making her avert back and find her former father-in-law grinning at the pair.

“There’s something I need to ask your aunt to make… I’ll leave you two to be civil to each other for my sake. And Brienne—it’s not too late. You’re still young and this one should be able to fuck his wife properly before losing his good looks to middle-age. If only my Darling I was twenty years younger…”

The elder Lannister pretended to hobble with his elaborate cane, with a lion on its handle. Brienne glared at the man and his ruthlessness.  _ It was no wonder, you didn’t fuck with Tywin Lannister _ . 

Jaime chuckled at his father’s antics and clear provocation into action.  _ Don’t test me old man. Who is saying I can fuck my wife? It’s only been weeks since I last got to taste— _

“You _lied_ to me, Jaime. Your father is not at death’s door. The Stranger isn’t lurking in the shadows of the Rock, waiting to trip him and take him under his cloak. He may look older and in need of some assistance, but if he could he’d impregnate me… Shit! That sounds wrong. I mean, he...you know he is always strong-willed and set in his ways, nothing can stop it from happening if he wills it. I’ve come and I’ve spoken with him. I’ve done my part. Now, I’m going to see where is my son and hopefully I won’t need to murder that ruffian your brother calls friend.” 

She stood, fixed her skirt and picked her straw hat with a red ribbon that complemented with the flowery print on her dress. Jaime groaned in regret as she covered her legs with the long length of the skirt, being tempted to find himself under it...lavishing in her pleasure.  _ Fuck _ . 

Brienne stalked his way, her eyes not meeting his, only to find herself trapped under his hand.

“I may have exaggerated Father’s condition, but aren’t you glad to have come back? Seeing your other home after all this time? Genna is beside herself having you under her roof and getting to make you her favorite recipes. Besides, you needed a vacation and a time to reflect… on your life, on  _ us _ —”

She sneered at first, but then giggled and moved a few steps away from his grasp, “Always a Lannister. I should’ve known. Would you like to meet my son, Jaime?”

With some difficulty, Jaime stood with tight pants. He offered his arm to his Brienne, “Let’s meet our Pod.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @JailynnW - here it is! As you wanted... hope it makes up for the first part, a little bit *wink*
> 
> Thanks for reading and leaving kudos/comments!

**Author's Note:**

>  **Tumblr Angst Prompts Round** | more to come!


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